[This is just my attempt at being funny.]
Dear Hosiery Advocate, I am a guy, who usually wears pink tights with shorts. Every time I walk down the street, people look at me in a strange way. How do I get them to stop?
Hopeful, in Humboldt, Saskatchewan
Dear Hopeful in Homboldt, buy a wig. Long flowing locks will do wonders to bring out your complexion.
Let me know how it works out for you.