Dear H.A.: How To Get Her To Buy Me Hosiery?

[This is just my attempt at being funny.]

Dear Hosiery Advocate, I keep giving her hints, and she still won't do it. She doesn't seem to want to talk about it, either. She buys and wears her own, though.

-- 
Bummed Out, in Britannia, British Columbia

Dear Bummed Out In Britannia, have you thought of borrowing her credit card, and then purchasing dozens of pairs of Wolford hosiery? She'll definitely want to talk to you after that.

Let me know how that works for you.

-- 
Hosiery Advocate